Our Perfect, Lazy Day

It seems like for the past month I have been absolutely swamped with things to do. With the holidays here, the school year ending, working on wedding plans, beginning my second job again, and a variety of other responsibilities, it seems that my fiance has been put aside. Now don't get me wrong, I see Kevin everyday. Throughout the day, we text and see what each other is doing and at the end of the day we always have dinner together but other than that, we don't have much time for anything else. It's as if for the past 4 weeks, we've just gone through the motions of the day. We start our days, send a few texts back and forth but really don't carry on much conversation, Kev works out at the gym while I work or do homework, we eat dinner together, and then its bed time. When the weekend comes, it's no different. We have a fifty things to do and a hundred places to go. So when the week winds down and I look back, I see that though I've been with Kevin, we haven't really spent much time together. But yesterday, we made up for that!

Since I'm out of school now and I didn't have to work and Kevin was off, we spent the day doing nothing but being lazy and it was AMAZING! We woke up and spent some time with our little guy! Sadly, he gets put on the back burner too :( After we played with him for a while, we curled up together on the couch and watched some tv... & of course, Rimy had to cuddle with us too! He's a spoiled fella! Around 12 we started getting hungry so we decided to go out to lunch. After lunch we came back home, cuddled up on the couch, and watched "Knight and Day". By that point, it was 4 o'clock and we had to stop being lazy so we got up and went to the gym. Then last night we went to see my nephew's school Christmas play and had dinner at Fursty's with my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew after. By the time we got home, it was time to call it a night and prepare for a new day.

So when I woke up this morning, I had a revelation. Yesterday was the best day I've had in a very long time. Not because I didn't have the opportunities but because I gave up those opportunities for those lazy days so I could accomplish a million and one things that I'd taken on that really didn't matter and that could wait. Because in the grand scheme of things, what is most important is those you love. So I've decided that I'm not waiting another month for another perfect,lazy day with my loves. I'm going to slow down and take some time for my two fellas so that we can have a lazy day every chance we can get (:

{Thankfulness}: My fiance

For many of you, its probably a shock that he hasn't come sooner, but its Day 4 and its time for me to be thankful for Kevin... not that I'm not thankful for him everyday of course (;

I can't believe how blessed I am that Kevin is in my life. I couldn't have asked God for a more perfect husband (to be)& a better relationship!

I love...
- that he is so hardworking.
- that he is conservative where it counts.
- that he is so family-oriented.
- that he enjoys being with my family.
- the relationship he has with my nephew.
- how he will randomly pick up my nephew from school and take him to eat just to surprise him because he knows he enjoys it.
- that he loves going to church.
- that he stays on me to do things I always should... like say the blessing.. he's always pointing out to me when I don't.
- that he wants us to go to church together.
- that he wants our family to be actively involved in church.
- how he volunteers to bring me food to work when I'm hungry without me having to ask him to.
- that he likes to go out to dinner, movies, ball games, etc. but wants to stay in and cuddle some nights too.
- that he helps me do things around our house.
- that he is so protective over me that no matter how tired he is, he'll go with me somewhere if I'm going to be going in and out of a place by myself late at night.
- that he likes my friends and enjoys hanging out with them.
- that we don't argue.
- that when we do have a disagreement, we just talk about it, without raising voices or getting upset.
- that we give and take equally in our relationship.
- that he really listens to me.
- that right or wrong, he is always honest with me.
- that he is always making me smile.
- that he is always looking for beetle bugs as we go down the road so he can punch me... I usually get them first though :P
- that he is constantly quoting movie quotes or random inside jokes we have.
- that he always wants me to go with him whether its to eat lunch with his friends, take a movie back to the rental place, or just sit with him while he eats dinner downstairs at our house.

The list could go on and on because each day, I discover more reasons why I love him and things I love about our relationship. I'm so thankful God knew just how perfect we were for each other & put us together to become the newest Holt family come May 21st, 2011 <3

{Thankfulness}: My Job

When I think of today's economy and the lack of jobs out there, I can't help but thank God for the jobs he has provided me with.

Five years ago, the secretary of my church was retiring. The boards of our church looked and looked for a replacement but no one seemed to want to take the job. My father was on the board of Stewards at the time and I knew they were having a difficult time finding a replacement so I told dad to let them know that I'd fill in until they found someone. The next meeting the board had, Dad mentioned to them what I'd said. The board all agreed that that would be fine and so on January 1, 2006, I took over as the church secretary. I thought it would only be temporary but I guess they stopped looking when I said I'd "fill-in" and now, five years later, I'm still doing the job. And you know something... I LOVE it! It's an absolutely amazing job. I love being able to set my own hours and serve people and the Lord at the same time, & it even pays well (something I didn't know when I volunteered to take over!).


Like alot of people these days, I work two jobs. Yet, unlike a lot of people, both of them are regular working hour jobs and they both pay great!

Two years ago, I decided I wanted another job other than my job at the church. I figured that since I found myself with alot of extra time on my hands, I might as well work another job to make some extra money. So right around the time I made that decision and began looking for a job, I got an email from a girl from one of my classes that said Sylvan Learning Center of High Point was hiring tutors to tutor kids in the SES programs in Guilford County. I figured as an elementary education major, it would provide me with a great opportunity, so I applied for a job. Not an hour after I'd sent in my resume, I was asked to come in for an interview. Two days later, I was hired on the spot.

I am so thankful that unlike many others, I have never had trouble finding work. I'm thankful that God has not only blessed me with one amazing job, but two. I'm also thankful that neither of my jobs require me to work nights or weekends so they never really interfere with my plans (unless something last minute comes up at the church). And I'm thankful that both of my jobs pay very well that I can pretty much afford not only my needs, but also my wants as well.

{Thankfulness}: Rimshot

So you probably think its crazy that I'm thankful for a dog but I can't help it. I'll be honest, it hasn't always been that way. When we first got Rimshot back at the end of August, I didn't think he was a blessing. I considered him more of a curse! Kevin and I both thought we'd made a bad choice by getting him. However, neither of us expressed these thoughts to each other. We didn't tell each other until last month about our doubts when we first got him. Looking back, I'm thankful we didn't because I'm not sure what we would have done. Had we have expressed them to each other those first few days we had him, we probably would have taken him back and I just can't bear that thought.

Despite those first few days, Rimshot is absolutely wonderful! We've had a time getting him housebroken and getting him to stop chewing on everything but we're just about there. Thankfully he will go to the door when he wants to go out and he no longer chews on anything other than his toys, drink bottles, and anything made out of wood... However, thats not always a good thing because he doesn't always realize its not ok to chew up drink bottles that have drink in them & he hasn't learned that wood inside the house, such as furniture and blinds, is off limits. But what can I say...we are making progress!

He's the absolute joy in mine and Kevin's life! By the end of the day, I am so ready to get home to see my lil' man! It is so refreshing to come home and get greeted by 100 kisses... even though I get a 100 scratches too!

Not only has he brought joy to Kevin and myself, but he's brought Joy to Kevin's family as well. I feel like rather than a dog, we have a baby. Everytime we turn around, he's getting new toys from people and homemade food! And somedays I'll be at work or school and I'll get a call from Kevin's parents or Aunt and Uncle asking if they can come get Rimshot for a while and play with him or take him walking. And there are some days that I'll even come home and he won't be there and I have to call around to find out who has him! (I hope it will be that way when we have kids!)

But all in all, though you may find it ridiculous, I am so thankful for my 4 month old Jack Russell. He has stolen my heart and I can't imagine life without him. I'm so thankful that we chose him out of his brothers and sisters because I'd say, he's the perfect son (:

{Thankfulness}: God's Saving Grace

Recently I was talking with a friend and found out that her and her church are doing 30 days of thankfulness for the month of November. I thought it was an amazing idea and I decided to join in as well. So for the next month, I will be posting what I am thankful for and why I am thankful for those things.

So to start the month off, I want to start off in the right place so the very first thing I am thankful for is God's saving grace. Yesterday, at church we sang Chris Tomlin's song, "I Stand Amazed" (How Marvelous). As the band sang the song, the words washed over me.

The song goes as follows:

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.

Chorus:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!

He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.

When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.


These words describe everything I'm thankful for. I can never thank God enough for what he did for me that day at Calvary. He looked at someone who was as far different from him as different could be. He looked at someone who had made mistakes, who had cursed his name, who was filthy in people's eyes, and who turned her back on him time and time again; and yet, despite it all, he saw me as worthy enough to carry my sinful burdens to Calvary. I will forever be grateful that he loved me so much that he was willing to lay his life down for my sin. I hope that at some point in life, I will know what that unfailing love is like.

Triplets Rock!

Just had to share this photo of my boys!
(For those of you who can't tell them apart, thats Sullivan, Hudson, & Jackson)

How Are the Wedding Plans Coming Along?

So it seems that once you get engaged, the only questions you get asked are questions that are related to your wedding. Almost everytime I run into someone I know, they ask me "how are the wedding plans coming along?". I just love the look on their faces when I say, "they are done!". It always comes as a shock but if they knew that Kevin and I have been planning on getting married since December of 2009 they'd understand.

Before Kevin ever bought my engagement ring, we began planning our wedding. At the beginning of the year, we chose our wedding date. Once that was chosen, I set out on making all of the arrangements. Growing up with a wedding planner/coordinator in my family, I've been planning my wedding over and over in my head since I was a little girl. So when the time finally came to plan it for real, it was rather easy because I knew just what I wanted. So I began to make those dreams become a reality.

My goal was that by the time summer was over and school started back I would have our wedding completely planned. I'd have to say I'm pretty proud of myself because I did a pretty good job of meeting that goal. We have our reception site, caterer, baker, dj, and photographer booked. We've purchased the invitations. I'm making the save-the-dates over Christmas break. We already have the wedding programs typed up, they just need to be printed. I have picked out my dress and my bridesmaid dresses. I've set up my hair appointment and we've got our music picked out not only for the wedding but for our first dance as well! The only thing we have left to do is meet with the florist, register for stuff, and get the boys fitted for tuxes!

All in all, this wedding planning stuff was a breeze! I am constantly asking friends of mine who are married if I should be stressed out but they all say if I've got all this stuff done by now, I'm doing great!

So I guess we'll see if I remain calm and stress-free the closer it gets to the wedding! Just a little less than 7 months to go! Yippee!!!!

I Wish You'd Stay

One of my favorite Brad Paisley songs is "I Wish You'd Stay". For those of you who don't know the song, its about a guy and a girl and the girl is moving away. He tells her that he wishes her the best, nothing less than everything she has ever dreamed of and he hopes that she finds love along the way but most of all, he wishes she'd stay. When I hear this song, it takes me back to the summer of 2009. As I mentioned in a previous post, last summer was an eventful summer to say the least. It was full of drama between Kevin's girlfriend and myself. However, despite all of that, it was one of the best summers of my life.

After spending all of last summer going back and forth with Kevin's girlfriend as well as Kevin at times, I made a big decision. I decided to transfer from UNCG to NC State. Throughout the summer I had struggled with trying to do the right thing. Being in Reidsville with Kevin as well as our group of friends, it was impossible to not spend time and talk to him. But at the same time, I knew Kevin and I being friends created problems with him and his girlfriend. So the only solution was for me to take myself out of the picture. The only way I could do that was to step back and transfer to another college. I had figured out that trying to not be friends with Kevin and being in the same vicinities as him just did not work.

Before breaking the news to Kevin, I told our group of friends about my intentions to transfer colleges. I was hoping telling them would make it easier to tell Kevin but it didn't. When I told them, they all did their best to talk me out of it. They told me that they all felt Kevin and I were supposed to be together and if I left, I would be making a mistake. And they all agreed that whether or not I wasn't around, Kevin wouldn't stop talking to me or try to come see me. I told them thats why I had to go. Everyone felt like Kevin and I were supposed to be together but things were never going to change. So when I finally told Kevin I was leaving and he asked why, thats exactly what I told him.

The few weeks after I'd made my decision to transfer schools, Kevin did his best to persuade me to stay. Everytime the issue was brought up, he'd always tell me he didn't want me to go, but he'd never say why. Then finally one night, after we'd spent the entire night arguing over something stupid (he'd gotten jealous over me talking to someone haha) he finally told me. I can't forget that conversation.

After arguing over and over, he finally told me that he loved being with me and he didn't realize how much he cared about me until he started seeing me get hurt. So then he said, "I don't want you to go to State so please don't go". I asked him why and he said, "I'd be really tore up if you did". I laughed and asked him why and he said because "nothing would be the same without you". I told him that if I went to State I'd be home on the weekends and I'd come home every now and then. He quickly reminded me that he wasn't always off on the weekends and I told him that was my point. As long as I was home, we'd always be making plans to hang out and that wasn't going to happen as long as he had a girlfriend. He told me he would drop the issue but he made sure I knew that I was making a mistake and he knew it deep down in his "gut".

Over the few weeks after that conversation, I really struggled with what to do. But after much prayer and consideration, I decided that running away from my problem wasn't going to solve anything. I decided to wait everything out. And I guess Kevin was right... I probably would have made a mistake if I'd left and transfered to State. Looking back I'm so thankful I stayed. If I'd have went, I doubt Kevin and I would be where we are today. Though who knows, he says that if I'd have transfered, he'd still have came to Raleigh and saw me when he was off so maybe things would have turned out the same. But either way, I'm thankful I didn't chance it :P

Forgiveness

Several Sundays ago, I sat in a church service that no words can describe. The service was held at Kevin's church and of course, his uncle was the one preaching it. For the past few months, Keith has been doing sermons on the Lord's Prayer. That particular week, he was preaching on the phrase, 'forgive our debtors'. Keith spoke about how God instructs us to forgive those we have grievances with. He talked about the servant who owed the king what would now be considered millions of dollars today and rather than throwing the man in jail as the king should have, he forgave him of his debt and allowed him to be free. However, only minutes after his pardon, that same servant passed a man in the streets who owed him money and he grabbed him by the neck and required him to pay his full payment on the spot. This man did not owe him an atrocious amount, he owed him about 20 dollars. When one of the king's men saw what was happening, he told the king. The king then threw the servant in jail and the Bible says he was "tortured" until he could pay his debt back in full all because he could not forgive the man who owed him money just as he had been forgiven. This parable was told as an example for Christians. God made it pretty clear to us Christians that we have been forgiven over and over for the things we have done against God. Therefore, as Christians, it is our job to forgive those who have done wrong things against us.

As Keith opened up his sermon, he asked the congregation some questions. To be honest, I can't remember all of the questions but I can remember two of them. He asked if any of us had someone in our lives that did something we just couldn't forget? Was there anyone in our lives that we no longer talked to because of something that happened? Immediately, I thought, 'nope, there sure is not'. I thought back over my past and everyone I've had problems with I've forgiven. But as he continued to preach, there was one person that kept coming to mind.

As this person continuously popped into my mind, I couldn't help but argue with God. I didn't have any problems with this girl anymore. We'd spent several months arguing back and forth with each other and saying some things that looking back, I'm not very proud of from a Christian stand point. I'd told her I was sorry and I'd moved on passed it. So I couldn't figure out what God was trying to tell me. And then as the service's end was near, God spoke as clearly as I've ever heard him. He said, 'yes, but you've never forgiven her for not accepting your apology'. And then I couldn't help but think he was right. I'd told this girl I was sorry and I hoped we could become friends at some point and she'd never said anything back.

As everyone knows, I am a big people-pleaser. I will do just about anything for someone so that they will not have hard feelings towards me. It upsets me when there is something wrong between me and someone else. So naturally, when someone has a problem with me and I address that problem, I want to know everything is okay. I guess you could say, I need closure. Yet with this girl, I never got that. So that part of me that needs that ending, couldn't let go of the fact that she wouldn't give it to me. Therefore, I couldn't fully forgive her.

As people came to the altar after Keith's sermon, I sat on that front row and prayed that God would help me let go. I prayed that he would take the bitterness I had been harboring for the situation and turn it into something good. I prayed that whether or not that person ever forgives me, I will no longer have hard feelings with her. And you know, its absolutely amazing how fast God works. As soon as I prayed, a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders that I never knew I had been carrying.

A quote was given during the service and it says, "forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future". I absolutely loved that quote because of the truth of it. I'll never be able to go back and change the things that happened and to be honest, I'm not sure that I want to. Those decisions got me in the place I am today and I feel that this is where I'm supposed to be. But at the same time, I do regret them. I hope that by forgiving this person as well as myself, the future will hold something so much better than my past.

Engagement Pictures!

When I look back over the good times Kevin and I have had, many of my favorite memories occurred at a softball field. As most of you know, Kevin plays church and recreational league softball. In fact, the first time Kevin and I met face-to-face was at Jaycee Park. Throughout our friendship and relationship, we have spent most of our time together at some ball field or another. Most people would think, 'wow, how lame!', but I absolutely love it! I love watching Kevin play ball because I love knowing he is happy doing it and it shows!

Now don't get me wrong, in the summer when its a 100+ degrees, I don't spend all day watching him, but I do make sure I make it to all the games after lunchtime! And I'll be honest, towards the end of the season this year, I held my breath at every game because Kevin suddenly became accident prone. In fact, one accident required him to spend the night in the Emergency Room getting staples in his knee! I'll never forget that night. He didn't even realize he'd cut his whole knee open. He thought he had just scraped it and what do you know, when I was trying to clean it out, I looked down and could see his bone! It was GROSSSSSSS! And he's just recovered this week from jamming his wrist in a tournament he played in over a month ago! So I guess I could say, I was pretty happy he decided to only play on one softball team this year rather than 2 as he normally does and he only played weekend ball about once every 4-6 weeks! If he'd have played like he normailly did, Lord knows what kind of condition he'd be in today :P lol

But anyways, with all that said, when we got engaged, I knew that I wanted our engagement photos to be taken at the very place we met... Jaycee Park. So this past Saturday we took them there! However, because we both absolutely love fall and we love the leaves changing, we also chose to have our photos taken at the Chinqua Penn Trail. Unfortunately, the leaves hadn't changed as much as we'd hoped but the pictures still turned out pretty great thanks to our amazing photographer who just so happens to be my cousin. I am so grateful she came in from Jacksonville just so she could take our pictures! She is absolutely amazing!

Here's a few of our pictures. I have more on our facebook pages so if we're one of your friends on there, check them out!

A Future Politician?

For everyone who knows me, you all know that I'm a very opinionated person. Usually at least once a day, I give my opinion about something... whether wanted or not! But hey! Thats just how God made me. If you have a problem, take it up with Him (:

Because I'm the way I am, growing up, people have always told me I should go into politics. Whats funny is, that growing up, one of my lifelong goals was to become a Senator. I've always had a passion for people and I've always wanted to see things done fairly. So often, I see our politicians make changes that benefit the upper class when in reality, the upper class don't contribute to alot of the American population. I want to see things done that will benefit us! And the only way I know how to do that right now is to advocate for it but a person as little as me can't do that and be heard. So the only thing I know to do is to run for office!

However, as I've grown older, I've began to pay more attention to politics and I realize how corrupt many politicians are today. So, at some point, I decided that I did not want to run for an office. I don't want people to associate me with that bad reputation. But as I was sitting at Alison & Waldo's wedding last night, I was sitting with a man I've known for many years now, sharing my opinions on some issue, and he expressed to me that I really should run for an office one day. He told me he had always thought I'd make a great politician. Then I was shocked to see all of the people at our table agree with him.

I'll be honest, the thought really appeals to me. I have so many ideas that I think would benefit our economy and society. I know they are just my opinions but often when I express them, there are many people that strongly agree with me. So maybe one day, I can actually get these ideas out in the open and make a difference. I guess only time will tell....who knows, maybe one day I'll be Mrs. Sara Holt, one of your North Carolina Senators!

Growing Like Weeds!

So there are 3 little boys that have me wrapped around their fingers and thats the triplets... Hudson, Sullivan, and Jackson Blake. They are the cutest little cousins ever! As I was flipping through some pics of them the other day I realize how in just a short year and a half they have grown so much!

I believe they were 2 months old in this photo... see how tiny they were! but then again they were born over 3 months early! (l to r: jackson, hudson, sullivan)


right after coming home! (from l to r: Sullivan, Jackson, Hudson)


& of course, they are wolfpack fans! (from l to r: Sullivan, Jackson, Hudson & that's Stephanie holding them!)


their fall picture last year! (from l to r: Hudson, Sullivan, Jackson)


christmas! (from l to r: Hudson, Sullivan, Jackson)


their 1st bday! (from l to r: Jackson, Hudson, Sullivan)


this summer! (Sullivan, Jackson, Hudson)

Cursing: A Sign of Ignorance

Earlier this week, my dad and I were discussing how now days, everyone curses openly like its a normal thing to do. For my dad, this is extremely shocking because my dad was born in 1947 and growing up, he never heard a curse word! But like him, I grew up never hearing curse words either because of how my parents were raised. So I must say, I'm pretty shocked today too when I hear people curse left and right like its no big deal. Its even more shocking to me when I hear young children curse in front of their parents, and then what happens, absolutely nothing! If I'd have cursed in front of my parents when I was their age, oh boy would my butt have been torn up! That was a huge no no in the Moore house and it still is today.

Now don't get me wrong, I'll be the first to admit that in my lifetime, I've cursed before. I'll admit, you really are a product of your environment. Up until high school, I had never uttered a curse word in my life. But my sophomore year, I took a class called Team Sports. There were 34 students in the class; there were 30 boys and 4 of us girls and of us all, 21 of the students were high school seniors. As I quickly discovered, the seniors had no problems dropping curse words like they were going out of style; so naturally, after spending two hours with them a day, I began to pick up on that nasty habit!

Over the past three or four years, I've tried my best to cut back on my cursing. It's a hard habit to break! Every now and then when I drop something or am stressed out to the max and something goes wrong, I find myself saying something I shouldnt and then I have to pray and tell God to help me because I've learned that not only is cursing wrong, but it makes you look ignorant because you can not find the words to express yourself in a decent and adultlike manner. However, in today's society, people would probably argue that that is not true but that is still my personal belief. Therefore, I know that I'm going to do my best to never curse and I'm going to encourage all of my students not to either because when they do, they look ignorant and I don't think they'd want that label stuck to them! At least, I know I don't!

Running the Race!

When my uncle passed away last week, it got me really thinking about death. As I talked to my dad about dying, my dad made a comment that struck me. He said "everyone wants to go to heaven, they just aren't in a rush to get there." As I thought about what he said, I realized how right he was! As Christians, whenever someone we know is sick and dying, we ask everyone to pray for their healing because we know that God can heal them because of his marvelous power. Yet, we don't really consider the outcome of what happens if he doesn't provide them healing on earth. If he doesn't, he/she will be going to heaven!

Hebrews 12:1 says that we are to run the race that God has set before us. Our race is our life's journey. Our life's journey is to help us fulfill our life's purpose. We were put on earth for God's pleasure. In order to please him, we are to live our lives for HIM. This means that on our life's journey, our actions should always reflect Him in us and we should do nothing that would bring dishonour to him but instead do things to bring him Glory. As all races have, the race of life has a finish line and on the other side of that finish line, we will recieve a wonderful reward! As we cross that line, we will enter into the pearly gates and be met with a celebration party and a huge reunion!

In life, when there is a race, everyone wants to finish first so that they can reap that reward before anyone else can snatch it up! But when it comes to the race that God set before us, people are hesitant as they near the finish line and would rather someone else come in first place. But why should we hesitate and want someone else to win that race?! Shouldn't we be excited to be crossing that line?! Hasn't that finish line been what we've strived for all of our Christian lives? Isn't that why we chose to live our lives the way we did, so that in the end, we could be met at those gates by our heavenly father and our brothers and sisters in Christ who went before us?!

I guess it all comes down to us being human. As humans, I've learned that we have a hard time letting go. We want to hold onto our lives here on earth. We want to have families and watch our families grow up and begin families of their own. However, if our family is saved, we should know that when we die, we are going to see them again. We should really consider our death to be like a vacation. When we cross that finish line, we are given a permanent stay in paradise! If on earth, we won an all-expenses paid trip to some tropical island for the rest of our lives, could you seriously say you wouldn't leave and go?! I mean afterall, your family and friends can come see you! Just like in heaven, when we go to paradise, our friends and family are going to be coming to see us sometime soon too! So we shouldn't be worried about never seeing them again!

The Bible says in Hebrews that "it is appointed unto man once to die." Either way, whether we come in first or last, we are going to cross that finish line. I just know that when I reach the end of my journey, I'm not going to have a problem coming first or last. I've lived my life in ways that are pleasing to God and I want to accept my reward for that! So I will be more than happy to accept first place!

Winner Either Way

As many of you all know, my uncle finally passed away on Friday morning aroud 9am. When I say finally, many people who did not know my uncle would find that harsh. But for those of you who do know him, you would understand. For most of my life, my uncle has struggled to stay alive. If any human being had "9 lives" as a cat does, it was my uncle. My uncle survived his rebellious adolescence, being beaten almost to the point of death numerous times, alcoholism, and so many other trials and temptations. For most of my uncle's adult life, he was an alcoholic. As a result, the alcoholism destroyed his liver. The destruction was so severe that in August of 2008, the doctors gave him 2 weeks to live because MRI's and CT Scans revealed that he had no liver. However, my uncle didn't die. The doctors were amazed. It's impossible to live without a liver, yet, somehow, God kept my uncle alive these past two years without one. Yet, my uncle had his battles over that two year period but remained strong and survived. However, two weeks ago, he took a turn for the worst and on Friday morning, he gave up to go home to heaven where my grandfather was waiting for him with open arms.

At my uncle's funeral, my mom requested a song entitled "Winner Either Way". As I listened to the words of the song, I realized how true they were. So often when someone we love is sick and dying, we pray for God's healing on that person. However, sometimes, God's idea of healing is not always ours. Sometimes, God chooses to allow healing by taking that person with them to their heavenly home, rather than healing them on earth so they can return to their earthly home. Yet, either way, no matter the outcome, that person is a winner either way!

Here are the lyrics to the song...
1)
A LOVED ONE KNEW HE'D REACHED THE END OF LIFE'S JOURNEY,
BUT HE'D BEEN HOLDING TO GOD'S HAND A LONG, LONG TIME
AND AS I KNELT BESIDE HIS BED,
MY HEART WAS THRILLED AT WHAT HE SAID,"
IF I GO, OR IF I STAY, THE VICTORY IS MINE."

CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO
OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.

2)
NONE OF US REALLY KNOWS ABOUT TOMORROW,
WE MUST PREPARE TO GO TO HEAVEN ANYDAY
BUT WHILE WE'RE HERE LET'S TRUST THE LORD,
HE'LL LEAD US SAFE TO OUR REWARD
AND BY HIS GRACE, WE'LL BE A WINNER EITHER WAY

CHORUS)
I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY, IF I GO OR IF I STAY
FOR I'LL STILL HAVE MY JESUS EACH PASSING DAY
I'LL HAVE MY HEALING HERE BELOW, OR LIFE FOREVER IF I GO
OH PRAISE THE LORD, I'M A WINNER EITHER WAY.

Flying Airplanes!

When I was 15 years old, I got to fly my first plane! It was exhilarating! I can still feel that nervousness I had as I waited for the control tower to give me the go to get on the runway. I can remember racing down the runway & slowly pulling up! I was so nervous but after just a few short moments, I was up in the air flying over Winston-Salem! Then, I forgot everything!

Flying an airplane is absolutely the most amazing thing in the world. It's alot of work because there are so many things to remember and there are so many buttons and controls to constantly mess with as you fly, but still, its worth it! As you fly a plane, you feel so in control. You feel like you have all the power in the world. Plus, its so peaceful. It's wonderful to just fly around and look at everything below you. It's amazing how small things really are when you're 1000 ft off the ground! It's also amazing how everything seems to be in little squares. You don't notice that when you're on the ground.

Unfortunately, I haven't flown a plane in 3 years and I miss it. I didn't realize how much I missed it until Kevin and I watched the movie, "She's Out of My League". In that movie, he learns to fly planes and it reminded me of myself several years ago! So, I'm thinking I'm going to have to make a trip to Smith-Reynolds Airport and hop in a little Cessna and make my way down the runway! I'm pretty sure I can remember how to do it all. Taking off and landing are the easy parts! It's those floaters that are the trick!

(For those of you who don't know, a floater is when you shut down the plane's engine in the air, and the engine will stall. When that happens, you will literally float! It feels much like that first big drop on a rollercoaster.... it's an adrenaline rush!)


Here's some pics I took when I was flying several years ago!

clouds (:


a view of Winston Salem (:



See what I mean about how everything looks like squares?!


these are what I usually fly (:

Some People Just Don't Like to See Other People Happy

On Thursday afternoon, I had lunch with one of my best friends who happens to be my neighbor. As we were eating, she told me she had to tell me something even though her boyfriend, who is my cousin, told her not to. She told me that someone was telling people that Kevin had cheated on me. Rather than feeling sick to my stomach or getting that heart-dropping-to-your-stomach feeling, I laughed! I said "Aly, when would he have had time?!" She said that was her thoughts exactly and thats why she wanted to tell me. As we talked, we thought maybe the person who had been saying that thought that I didn't know that Kevin had went out with a girl back in September, but I did know that and we weren't dating then so whether he went out or not, it didn't matter. So I told Aly, I'd speak to that person and get it straight.

When I came home that afternoon, I told Kevin what I'd heard. Like me, he was like "whaaaat?!" And he agreed with me, when would he have been able to?! Almost every day that he works, I go to his work and hang out with him on his breaks; as soon as he gets off work, we meet at the y; when we get done working out, we go to dinner and hang out till bed time; the next morning, we do it all over again! And when Kevin is not working, we are always together! It's pretty much been like that since last October or November. So we decided to ask that person about the whole thing. We figured it was just a big misunderstanding because that person wouldn't spread things like that.

After talking to that person and getting to the bottom of the situation, it wasn't shocking to find out that an ex boyfriend of mine started the rumor. I guess he felt like since he'd cheated on me numerous times and I eventually broke up with him because I was tired of it, that I'd break up with Kevin if I suspected he was cheating on me as well. But thats just a theory because I really don't know why he would spread a rumor like that, especially since I haven't spoken to him in 8 months! But its like Kevin's brother's girlfriend once told me, "some people just don't like to see other people happy".

As the rumor goes, Kevin was at a party supposedly "hooking up" with a bunch of girls. First off, Kevin and I spend every weekend together. Secondly, neither one of us party. And thirdly, Kevin doesn't "hook up". So when my ex was spreading these rumors, he should have learned a little bit about Kevin first. But for those people who don't know Kevin, I am sure they've believed him. This is what makes me angry. I do not like when my fiance's reputation is at stake. So for anyone reading this, please know that Kevin has never, isn't, and will never cheat on me. I believe that with all of my heart.


But on a funnier note, as Kevin and I were on the couch cuddling and talking about it all, he gave me a kiss on the top of the head and said "Babe, I promise I will never do anything to hurt you." As soon as he said it, I said "babe, you punch the crap out of me all the time!" (because he does every time he sees a Volkswagen beetle bug!). Without hesitating, he said, "except for that!".... haha This is why I love him. He can always make me laugh (:

Am I to Smart to go to UNCG?

A few weeks ago someone told me that I was way to smart to go to UNCG. It wasn't the first time I'd heard the same phrase directed toward me. But this time, it really got me thinking. Was I to smart to go there? I finally came to a conclusion. The answer was pretty simple, "No, I'm not to smart for UNCG".

When I was a senior in High School, I had my fair pick of which colleges I could attend. I could go to Elon, Carolina, NC State, UNCG, or High Point University. Originally, I planned to attend Elon University as an athletic training major but halfway through the beginning of my senior year, I changed my major. I decided to switch to education. At the time, NC State was just beginning their elementary education major so I felt that it would not be a good choice to go there. So that left Carolina, UNCG, and HPU. I didn't want to be to far from home and I didn't want to go to an extremely huge college, so I ruled out Carolina. When it came down to HPU and UNCG, it was a tougher decision. I had the opportunity to attend HPU as a Presidential Scholar which would basically give me a free ride. I absolutely loved HPU. They have the most gorgeous campus ever! Its really like a playground for college kids. But after much thought and contemplation, I decided on UNCG. UNCG was not a very big campus, alot of my friends had chosen to go there, it was close to home, and after much research, I discovered that they had one of the top education programs in the state! So the decision became easy, that was the school for me!

Over the past 3 years as people have asked me where I go to college, I've watched their faces change as I've told them "I go to UNCG". I know what they are thinking, 'Ohhhh, she goes there. She must not be to smart'. I'll be quite honest, up until my junior year, this bothered me. But when I got into the education program, I realized people had no idea what they are talking about. UNCG may have a bad reputation for some things, but their nursing program and education program are top notch. Therefore, they pride themselves in these programs and expect alot out of their students! UNCG's nursing program and education program are two of the hardest programs to get into! I'm lucky enough that I'm in one of those programs and I'm thankful that they make me bust my butt so that I can be the best teacher there can be! And on top of that, we have amazing teachers. Almost half of my professors have not only taught at UNCG but have taught for big colleges such as Carolina, Wake Forest, Brown University, UCLA and I highly doubt they teach the classes at UNCG any differently than they did at these colleges.

So when choosing a college, its not about getting into the most prestigious school or ivy-league college, its about personal choice. It's about choosing the college that fits you and will give you the best education for the major you choose. Unless you go to Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Oxford, or MIT, to be quite honest, I probably won't be impressed. I mean sure, Duke and Wake Forest, are pretty tough schools to get into and I'll give you that. I didn't care to go to either so I didn't apply and who knows, I may could have gotten in there or I may not have, I guess I will never know. But still, it is not that impressive to me even though it may be to others. Frankly, I think people that choose to go to those schools for something other than what they are known for are not very bright. I mean, who wants to go to DUKE just because its DUKE and then major in art? A degree that does not offer many possibilities upon graduation and then when you can't find a job, you are going to owe $200k in student loans? Is that smart? Is it really worth all that money just so you can say you went there? I wouldn't say so but then again thats just my opinion. But if that college works for you and is going to give you the most beneficial education, then I'll be impressed that you chose a college for you and not for society's benefit or to promote your image. To me, that is what makes you smart.

I Got to Drive Kevin's Corvette!

Friday night, Kevin, Mike (Kevin's Dad), Kenny (Kevin's uncle), Kayla (Kevin's cousin), and Donnell (Kevin's uncle's girlfriend), and I all went to dinner in Yanceyville at Steaks on the Square. Its this little hole-in-the-wall restaurant that Kevin and Mike swore up and down was one of the best restaurants ever. After eating there, I'd have to say, I agree. But I shouldn't have been shocked because usually those little family run, hole-in-the-wall restaurants are the best!

When we were leaving, I jokingly told Kevin he should have let me drove his Corvette home. He stopped and told me if I wanted to I could. I was like "NOOO! I was j/k". So we headed on back home to his house.

We hung out at Kevin's parent's house for a few minutes and left to go to my house. As we were backing out of the driveway I told Kevin I could have drove his car again. So he told me I was going to. I was totally kidding and told him I didn't want to drive it but he said I'd be driving it sometime so might as well go on and do it. So he pulled back in the driveway and got out. Refusing to drive, I tried locking my door. However, I didn't know that if the driver's side door was open, the passenger side wouldn't lock! So Kevin opened my door and made me get out and then I was forced to drive!

As I backed out of the driveway, I was scared to death because if I messed up that car, he'd kill me! But as I began to drive down the road, I wasn't nervous at all. Driving his vette was like driving my old sports car. It was alot of fun! And the best part was I didn't make Kevin nervous at all when I was driving it! I was seriously expecting him to have a heart attack! haha

I know if I wanted to drive his car, he'd let me but I'm thinking that next year when I get a job, I'm going to have to get my OWN Corvette to drive (:

Kevin & I are Parents!

On Wednesday, August 18th, Kevin and I became parents to a beautiful little boy! His name is Rimshot and he was born on June 16th. He is a black, brown, and white Jack Russell terrier. And let me just say, he is the most precious thing ever!

Last Christmas, Kevin and I got on the topic of puppies and we started talking about the different breeds that we liked. Growing up, my family always had Cocker Spaniels. They are absolutely wonderful dogs and they aren't very hyper. However, I always wanted a Jack Russell. When I told Kevin that I'd love to have a Jack Russell, he told me that when he was younger he'd watched a movie with one and his name was Rimshot and since then he'd always wanted one. So we decided then and there that when we decided to get a dog, we'd get a Jack Russell and we'd make sure we got a male so we could name him Rimshot.

Throughout the year, we would go to the pet store looking for a male Jack Russell puppy. We found one that we loved. He was exactly what I had in mind. I wanted a white one with brown around his eye and I did not want him to have any black on him. However, when we saw him, it wasn't the right time to get one. I was in the process of trying to finish the semester and move out of my apartment. When we went back a few weeks later, he was gone :(

Over the next couple of months, we kept our eyes out for one. Well on Wednesday, August 18th, I found an add on Craiglist for a litter of Jack Russells. I told Kevin and he called about them. The lady had two males left and so we told her we'd be there in a few hours. On our way there, we pretty much knew we'd be coming home with one and sure enough, we did. When she brought out the two little guys she had, I was a little disappointed that they were white and black. Yet, my disappointment quickly faded when little Rimshot came over to Kevin and me and started playing around. I instantly fell in love with the little guy. He was unlike any other Jack Russell that I'd ever seen. He had black spots that almost reminded me of a Dalmatian (another breed that I absolutely love!). So after talking it over, we paid for the little guy, and took him home!

The past week and half has been something! Getting a puppy was so much more responsibility than I could have ever imagined, yet it is so rewarding at the same time. Having our little guy has really given us a brief glimpse of what it will be like to have children of our own. The first few nights were spent waking up every few hours to take him outside and play with him,((thankfully, he sleeps through most of the night now though!)), we can't leave the house for long periods of time so that he can go outside and use the bathroom every few hours, and we have to arrange our schedule around his! So our lives now completely revolve around our "son", just like it will have to when we have children of our own! Yet, just like with children, its all worth it! There is nothing like coming home and have a little fella go crazy when he hasn't seen you all day and its great to have a little guy kiss all over your face to let you know that he missed you!

Here's a few pictures of the first few days with our little guy!

It's Sad Really...

As I was reading some scripture today, I came across the following passage: "The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God." - Galations 5:19-21

This passage really hit me. As I read off each of the things that God says will block us from entering His kingdom, I realized that all of these things are abundant in the world that we live in today. I see the truth in Matthew 7:13 as it says, "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it."

It seems in today's culture, sex is just a recreational activity. I read recently that a recent study showed that almost 95% of adults have had premarital sex. Thanks to the media, sex is now portrayed as a means of instant pleasure and gratification rather than the intimacy between a husband and wife as God created it to be. Its sad that so many people have sex and end up with an unwanted child. It seems that almost every week I hear or see on facebook that a girl I know is having a baby out of wedlock. But whats really sad is that its so common, I don't really think much about it anymore.

Its sad that there is so much hatred, anger, and jealousy in this world. It sad that, without fail, everytime I turn on the tv, I see where someone else has been murdered or has been a victim of a crime. Its sad that crime occurs so often, our jails are to full to house more criminals so we have to constantly build onto the ones we have or build new ones. Its sad that our women's & children's shelters are overflowing with women and children who are victims of abuse because their loved ones could not control their tempers.

It's sad that so many people today use alcohol as a means to solve their problems, to numb their pain, or to simply forget about something. Its sad that people go out and get drunk likes its the "cool" thing to do when in reality, they are condemning themselves to an eternity in hell when they could live in paradise.

It's sad that these sins are so common that people don't really consider them to be sins anymore because no one preaches against them. It seems that because they are so common, they have become acceptable. Yet, just because society accepts them does not mean God does. God's word is absolute and His word is final. If you participate in these sinful natures, you will not enter into His Kingdom... and what a shame that will be.

My Best Friend's Wedding

This past Saturday, at 4 o'clock in the afternoon, I watched my best friend walk down the aisle as Miss Emily Wagoner and 15 short minutes later, I watched her exit the sanctuary as Mrs. Emily Scearce. I don't believe I've ever seen her look any more beautiful and any happier. I hope that same happiness that she had on Saturday as she said "I do" will follow her and Matt always.

A few days before Emily's wedding, we were talking about how fast time had flown by. I remember when we were in middle school planning our dream weddings to the members of N'Sync (haha!) and I can remember in high school, when we'd visit colleges, before we even looked at the buildings, we were scoping the area out for hot guys. Afterall, our dream husbands were gorgeous guys that we expected to meet in college so we had to make sure we went to a college that had nice looking ones! Yet the funny thing is, we both ended up meeting older guys (& by older I mean like 6 years older!) than us and they didn't go to UNCG after all. It's funny how God's plan doesn't always match our own but His is always better (:

As I participated in the wedding festivities on Friday and Saturday, the fact that I'm getting married in just a little under a year officially sank in with me. In just 9 short months, I will be in Emily's shoes and she will be in mine. I will be the one anxiously waiting to see my fiance. I will be the one walking down the aisle on my Daddy's arm (and I'll probably be bawling my eyes out!). I will be the one looking straight into my fiance's eyes as I say my vows. I will be the one entering the church as a Miss and leaving as a Mrs. And just like my best friend, I won't be nervous at all about it because like her, I know without a doubt that my fiance is the person that I want to share my life with. He is the one I want to fall asleep with every night and to wake up to every morning; the one I want holding my hand in the delivery room when we have our 2 kids (3 if he has his way :P); the one I want by my side as we watch and help our children experience life; and the one I want to look after me when I get to old to look after myself.

So...after my best friend's wedding, I have to say, I hope mine hurries up and gets here!

Emily getting her hair done!


All of us after our hair & make up was done!


The Bride & Maid of Honor (that's me!!!)


All of Us Girls (:


Emily & Matt after they'd said 'I Do'!


The yummy & pretty cake!


Me & My Parents at Emily's Wedding

I Remember Where I Was the Night I Fell in Love

A few weeks ago as I made my way to Danville, VA to run some errands an old song that I hadn't heard in forever came on the radio. It was Mark Schultz's song, "He Was Walking Her Home". As the chorus played, the first part of it began to stick out to me. The lyrics were "He was walking her home and holding her hand. Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him. Down that old road, with the stars up above, he remembers where he was the night he fell in love. He was walking her home". As the song continued I began to think about those lyrics and how I'd felt the first time I'd heard them several years ago.

Before falling in love with my fiance, I always believed that love just sort of happened over time and you could never really pinpoint the exact time of the beginning of it's existence. I just felt that you just came to the conclusion that you were in love because you realized you could spend forever with that special person. Yet, I was wrong. Love doesn't just happen over time. You can feel it the moment it hits you because it almost takes your breath away. It feels like you've been hit in the gut, but at the same time, its not painful. But all of a sudden, you feel different. Your heart suddenly feels full and complete. I remember the night that I got to experience this amazing feeling like it was yesterday. It was on October 24th, the night of our group's Halloween Party.

That night, Kevin asked me to come over to his house before the party but I told him I was going to be running late so I would just drive seperate and meet him at Emily and Matt's. So when I got there an hour late I expected him to be there, but he wasn't. I texted him and he said he was at his house watching a movie. Thinking that he was mad that I didn't come over, I left the party and drove to his house. When I got there I walked in without knocking ready to speak my mind, but he was sitting on the couch watching tv. When he saw me standing there in the living room, he looked at me with this odd expression. I can't begin to explain it but I guess you could say it was like one of those looks in the movies when the guy looks at a girl like he sees her for the first time. It was like he was really looking at me. I'm not sure if its because it was the first time he'd ever seen me with curly hair or because I was wearing a short Robinhood costume with knee-high boots, but either way, it took me completely off guard and I was completely speechless. But after a moment, I remembered why I was there and I asked him why he wasn't at the party and he told me he was planning on coming he just wanted to finish watching his movie. I'd known Kevin for a long time by that point and I knew there was more to the story than that. After a few minutes, I figured out that it all boiled down to the fact that he wasn't going to dress up for the party and everyone wanted him to. I told him I didn't care what he did but I wanted him to still come with me so he said he would but first I was supposed to sit down with him. We sat there for a while talking and cutting up and then we figured it was probably time for us to be getting back to the party since everyone was probably wondering where we were. So Kevin went to get his jacket. It was in that moment as I sat on the edge of his bed as he put on his jacket that I got that feeling. It came so fast it could have had an air bubble that said BAMMM! All at once, I had butterflies in my stomach, my heart was beating fast, and suddenly my heart felt whole.

I knew then just like I know now that I was in love with Kevin Michael Holt. Yet, at that point we weren't dating and I knew I couldn't tell him. I wanted to but I was afraid I'd be hurt but in my heart, I knew that at some point, I'd get to say it to him. And as you all know, just a few short months later, I did (:

Some Pics from that Night...

Vacation with my Future Family!

Like my family, Kevin's family also has the annual tradition of taking a family beach trip during the summer. Seeing as how I will soon be a part of that amazing family, I got to go along too! And after spending almost all of last week packing and moving stuff into our new house, a vacation was just what I needed!

Each day, we spent the afternoon laying on the beach or playing around in the pool then we'd all enjoy dinner together and then we would go out and have some fun that night.

Sunday night Kevin and I went and saw "The Last Airbender". It was reaaaaally good! I really wanted to see it but I was a little hesitant because I was afraid it would suck because it was a movie by Midnight Shyamalan. I have never liked his movies but I have to admit, he did a great job with this one! I can't wait till the next one comes out!

Monday night we all went out and played putt putt! Let me just say, I beat Kevin! yayyyy! I was pretty proud of myself. He usually kicks my tail, but not that night (: I think its because he was bragging on how he was gonna beat me before we ever started playing. You know what they say, "Pride cometh before the fall" :P. After we all played putt putt, Kevin, Brooke, Bryan, and I all went to Kirk's Ice Cream Parlor where Kevin and I split a bowl of the best Cookies & Cream ice cream that I've ever had in my life! It was soooo yummy! I think going there is going to become a new beach tradition, at least for me anyways :P

Tuesday night we all went to Nakatos Japanese Steak House. Kevin's family always goes there when they are at the beach. It is truly the best Japanese food I've ever tasted! It beats Sapporos and Kabutos hands down! Afterwards, all of us went to see "The Sorcerer's Apprentice". I have to admit, I was kind of disappointed in it. Its not that the movie was bad, I was just expecting more out of it! But then again, I compare it to the other movies that I've watched this summer and its hard to beat "The Last Airbender" and "The Prince of Persia".

Wednesday night Kevin and I decided to go to dinner on our own. I'd been craving Olive Garden so Kevin took me there. When we finished we met up with the rest of the family to play putt putt again. Unfortunately, I didn't play so well so Kevin beat me this time :( Oh well, you can't win them all! But we still had lots of fun and thats what counts!

Overall, I had a great vacation! I was kind of sad to return home today. Kevin's family was staying till Saturday but we chose to come home early so Kevin could play softball tonight and we could do some stuff around our new house tomorrow. But it was all worth it! The guys won and I got to catch up with Kevin's cousin Cursty. I haven't gotten to see her in months and she came tonight to their game! But despite it all, I look forward to going to the beach again!

My favorite photo from our trip <3

This Time Last Year...

As I celebrated the 4th of July this year, I was reminded of the events that took place after the holiday last year. The week following the 4th last year was one of the most difficult weeks of my life because of a decision I made. Little did I know that this decision would change my life. For those of you who don’t know what that decision was, you’d be shocked to know that I told Kevin I didn't want to be friends with him anymore. If you’re thinking that I told him I didn’t want to be friends because I wanted to be something more, then you’re wrong. This time last year, I told Kevin I didn’t want to be friends with him, PERIOD!

In order for you to understand why I told him that, let me fill you in on the events that lead up to it if you weren't around last summer...

At the time, Kevin had a girlfriend. They had been together for 2.5 years and she lived about an hour away. I had never met her but I'd heard alot about her. I'd even talked to her several times on myspace and facebook.

At the beginning of the summer, Kevin and she broke up. The following week I went to the beach with my friends and Kevin and his friends came down later in that week. My friends and I met up with the guys just about everyday, be it for dinner, putt putt, or just simply to chill by the pool. Of course, we love taking pictures so we took lots of them when we were all together! When I returned home I put the pictures up on facebook. Little did I know that while we were all at the beach, Kevin and his girlfriend had been talking and were apparently planning on getting back together. A few days later, Kevin’s girlfriend sent me a message and told me to remove the photo I had of Kevin and I on the beach as well as the photos with Kevin in them. I understood her concern about the photo of Kevin and I and I took it off, yet, I didn’t remove the other photos. I didn’t see the point; they were just Kevin with his friends. Well she didn’t like that and she made sure I knew that. She also made it clear to me that she had a problem with me hanging with Kevin all the time. However, I told her I hung out with Kevin and our group of friends and not hanging with Kevin meant not hanging with them, and that wasn’t going to happen. This sparked a huge debate that went on for weeks. Not only did it involve me, but Kevin’s friends and family got in on it too.

At the end of June, Kevin and our group of friends all went to Emerald Pointe one Sunday afternoon. His girlfriend was invited but I guess something was going on and she didn’t come. When she asked who was coming, I guess Kevin left me out of the people attending because a few days later he informed me that she had deleted me off facebook, not only her profile but his as well because she'd found out that I'd gone too. I was mad! I had told Kevin I’d only be friends if he’d acknowledge it. That night after the guys ball game, we were all going to eat. I was telling Kevin’s friend Alex about what had happened and I was crying. When Kevin’s cousin saw me, he came over to my car and asked what had happened. I told him that Kevin’s girlfriend had deleted me off of her and Kevin’s profile and I was not supposed to talk to Kevin again. I can still see Daniel’s face now! He was furious! He told me to get to the restaurant and he’d take care of it. As soon as we walked in the door and sat at the table with the ENTIRE team and their dates, Daniel jumps up and tells Kevin he better add me back on facebook! All eyes were on me, Daniel, and Kevin. I knew Daniel was mad but I didn’t expect him to say something in front of everyone. The look on his and Kevin’s face was to much, so I jumped up from the table, told everyone bye, and ran out the door. As I was almost to my car, I heard someone running behind me. Before I could even turn around, Kevin grabbed my arm, turned me around to face him, and hugged me. I immediately broke down in tears in the middle of the parking lot. He told me he was sorry and no matter what his girlfriend said, we’d be friends. I didn’t believe him so I tried to leave. He refused to let me go. When I finally got ready to leave, he asked where I was going and I told him I was going home and he said he was coming too. He informed me that “where you go, I go”. Well I went home and a few hours later he showed up. After a few minutes at my house, I told him he had a girlfriend and he shouldn't be there. I guess you could say, I kicked him out of my house. Yet, it didn't have that powerful feeling like the movie portrays. I saw the hurt in his eyes and I felt awful. I wanted him to stay but I knew it wasn't right for him to be there.

A few weeks past and things were good. I hadn’t heard anything out of Kevin’s girlfriend and the drama seemed to have disappeared. Yet after the 4th, hell broke loose again. A few days after the 4th, I spent the day with Kevin and Alex chilling at the pool. That night Kevin’s girlfriend showed up at their game. After spending the whole day together, would you believe when she got there, he never looked my way; not at the ball field and not when the whole group went to dinner. I couldn’t believe it! I’d told him I wouldn’t be his friend whenever it was convenient. When the group and I paid and went to the Sagebrush parking lot, I told them I was tired of this crap. Kevin’s cousin told me he was too. He was tired of seeing Kevin drag me around all the time, asking me to do stuff with him or talking to me all the time, but then not even acknowledging me when his girlfriend was around. So I told the group I’d fix it. I stood in the Sagebrush parking lot, took out my phone, and sent Kevin a text message that was very simple, “I don’t want to be friends anymore”. Within ten minutes he’d sent me 7 messages wanting to know why? I never wrote him back.

For the first day, it was pretty easy. I kind of expected Kevin to message me, but he didn’t. Day 2 came and I didn’t speak to him all day but I saw him. I was at the ballfield and he came to watch the games. I stood 6 feet from him and I couldn’t even look at his face. I knew if I did, I’d want to talk to him. When he left, I got in my car and cried and cried. I told Kevin’s cousin how bad I felt. It was awful standing 6 feet away from my best friend and I couldn’t even talk to him. When I told him I didn't want to be friends, I didn't expect it to be that hard.

The next day, as I was getting ready to go to the ballfield, I heard my phone go off. I grabbed my phone and opened the text message. I about fell over when I saw that it was from Kevin and it said “its driving me crazy not being able to talk to you”. I wanted to text him back so bad but I couldn’t! I couldn’t be his friend anymore. I was tired of the drama.

I went to the ballfield and the group asked if I'd heard from him. I told them about the text. Alex told me he’d talked to Kevin and he sounded so depressed. I felt bad but I didn’t figure it was because of me. As the game was being played, Kevin sent me another message asking me the score of the game since he was at work and couldn't play. I told Alex to text him and tell him and so he did.

After the game, we all went to eat Japanese and then went back to Em and Dan's for a movie. As they talked about Kevin, tears came to my eyes. Emily told me maybe I should talk to him to get some closure, but I told her that wouldn't be a good idea. A short while later, Kevin called Daniel to find out how the game went. As he talked to him, he asked about me and told Daniel about how I wouldn't talk to him, not knowing that I was with Daniel and them at the time. Daniel told him he understood my reasons and everything would work out. All I could think was, I hope he's right.

That night at 1 in the morning, Kevin sent me a message wanting to know why I could talk to everyone else but I could not even text him the score to the game. Oh boy was I mad. It was 1 in the morning and he was messaging me about this crap! I gave in and texted him back and boy did we got into it! I told him how I felt and why I wouldn't be his friend anymore. I was tired of being his convenient friend. I was tired of him saying we'd be friends no matter what and then he'd act like he didn't know me if she was around.

After we finally calmed down and talked reasonably, I told him how hard not being his friend was and in turn he told me the same.

Telling Kevin I didn't want to be friends changed my life. If I wouldn't have told him, I don't think I'd have realized that he had become my best friend and at some point, I came to love talking to him everyday. I knew then that no matter how hard it would be, I'd still fight to be his friend.

Looking back, I know most people at the time thought I was fighting for Kevin because I liked him, but it wasn't that. I didn't know Kevin is who I wanted to be with until October of last year. But I have to say, that through everything we went through last summer, it made me value our friendship and appreciate the relationship we have now <3.

The Fourth: Family, Friends, Food & Fireworks!

For as long as I can remember, my family has hosted all of the cook outs that fall within the summer months. I guess at some point we were designated to do so because of our place at Belews Creek Lake.

So, over the weekend, we hosted a cook out for our ENTIRE family at the lake for the 4th of July. When I say the entire family, thats saying alot because everyone knows that there are alot of Moore's and the family keeps getting bigger! Despite how crowded it was with everyone, we had a blast! Everyone came up Saturday at lunchtime and ate and then had some fun in the water. Thankfully this year, we had 3 boats in the water so pretty much whoever wanted to got out on the lake could! No one really had to wait around for turns like usual!

It seemed that everyone seemed to have a good time up there because when I returned to the lake Sunday morning after church, half the people were still there! Alot of our friends spent the night at our place since my brother stayed over night. Don't ask me where they slept because I have no idea! But I guess they made do!

So Sunday was spent much the same as Saturday. We enjoyed more food, family, friends, and we got to see some more fireworks! I was really looking forward to testing out the new wakeboard but sadly, when one of my friends was trying it out, he broke the rope :( But it was all good, we had fun laughing at him!

I hated that Kevin had to work because he missed out on most of the weekend's fun but he did get to come up Saturday night for a little while. We had fun swinging on the swings down by the lake and sitting on our dock with our feet in the water. I think he now understands why I love the lake so much and why I tell him its my home away from home. Even he mentioned it looked like we'd have to get a boat of our own in the future and I was all up for that! Lord knows I love boats! I guess I'm a true Moore!

Belews Creek (& Duke Power in the background!)... My Home Sweet Home <3


Hudson and his float... they didn't have floats like this when I was a kid!


Sullivan... he's about to get into something!


Jackson was looking for the water.



The triplets enjoyed their boat ride!