8.11.2010

I Remember Where I Was the Night I Fell in Love

A few weeks ago as I made my way to Danville, VA to run some errands an old song that I hadn't heard in forever came on the radio. It was Mark Schultz's song, "He Was Walking Her Home". As the chorus played, the first part of it began to stick out to me. The lyrics were "He was walking her home and holding her hand. Oh the way she smiled it stole the breath right out of him. Down that old road, with the stars up above, he remembers where he was the night he fell in love. He was walking her home". As the song continued I began to think about those lyrics and how I'd felt the first time I'd heard them several years ago.

Before falling in love with my fiance, I always believed that love just sort of happened over time and you could never really pinpoint the exact time of the beginning of it's existence. I just felt that you just came to the conclusion that you were in love because you realized you could spend forever with that special person. Yet, I was wrong. Love doesn't just happen over time. You can feel it the moment it hits you because it almost takes your breath away. It feels like you've been hit in the gut, but at the same time, its not painful. But all of a sudden, you feel different. Your heart suddenly feels full and complete. I remember the night that I got to experience this amazing feeling like it was yesterday. It was on October 24th, the night of our group's Halloween Party.

That night, Kevin asked me to come over to his house before the party but I told him I was going to be running late so I would just drive seperate and meet him at Emily and Matt's. So when I got there an hour late I expected him to be there, but he wasn't. I texted him and he said he was at his house watching a movie. Thinking that he was mad that I didn't come over, I left the party and drove to his house. When I got there I walked in without knocking ready to speak my mind, but he was sitting on the couch watching tv. When he saw me standing there in the living room, he looked at me with this odd expression. I can't begin to explain it but I guess you could say it was like one of those looks in the movies when the guy looks at a girl like he sees her for the first time. It was like he was really looking at me. I'm not sure if its because it was the first time he'd ever seen me with curly hair or because I was wearing a short Robinhood costume with knee-high boots, but either way, it took me completely off guard and I was completely speechless. But after a moment, I remembered why I was there and I asked him why he wasn't at the party and he told me he was planning on coming he just wanted to finish watching his movie. I'd known Kevin for a long time by that point and I knew there was more to the story than that. After a few minutes, I figured out that it all boiled down to the fact that he wasn't going to dress up for the party and everyone wanted him to. I told him I didn't care what he did but I wanted him to still come with me so he said he would but first I was supposed to sit down with him. We sat there for a while talking and cutting up and then we figured it was probably time for us to be getting back to the party since everyone was probably wondering where we were. So Kevin went to get his jacket. It was in that moment as I sat on the edge of his bed as he put on his jacket that I got that feeling. It came so fast it could have had an air bubble that said BAMMM! All at once, I had butterflies in my stomach, my heart was beating fast, and suddenly my heart felt whole.

I knew then just like I know now that I was in love with Kevin Michael Holt. Yet, at that point we weren't dating and I knew I couldn't tell him. I wanted to but I was afraid I'd be hurt but in my heart, I knew that at some point, I'd get to say it to him. And as you all know, just a few short months later, I did (:

Some Pics from that Night...

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