I Wish You'd Stay

One of my favorite Brad Paisley songs is "I Wish You'd Stay". For those of you who don't know the song, its about a guy and a girl and the girl is moving away. He tells her that he wishes her the best, nothing less than everything she has ever dreamed of and he hopes that she finds love along the way but most of all, he wishes she'd stay. When I hear this song, it takes me back to the summer of 2009. As I mentioned in a previous post, last summer was an eventful summer to say the least. It was full of drama between Kevin's girlfriend and myself. However, despite all of that, it was one of the best summers of my life.

After spending all of last summer going back and forth with Kevin's girlfriend as well as Kevin at times, I made a big decision. I decided to transfer from UNCG to NC State. Throughout the summer I had struggled with trying to do the right thing. Being in Reidsville with Kevin as well as our group of friends, it was impossible to not spend time and talk to him. But at the same time, I knew Kevin and I being friends created problems with him and his girlfriend. So the only solution was for me to take myself out of the picture. The only way I could do that was to step back and transfer to another college. I had figured out that trying to not be friends with Kevin and being in the same vicinities as him just did not work.

Before breaking the news to Kevin, I told our group of friends about my intentions to transfer colleges. I was hoping telling them would make it easier to tell Kevin but it didn't. When I told them, they all did their best to talk me out of it. They told me that they all felt Kevin and I were supposed to be together and if I left, I would be making a mistake. And they all agreed that whether or not I wasn't around, Kevin wouldn't stop talking to me or try to come see me. I told them thats why I had to go. Everyone felt like Kevin and I were supposed to be together but things were never going to change. So when I finally told Kevin I was leaving and he asked why, thats exactly what I told him.

The few weeks after I'd made my decision to transfer schools, Kevin did his best to persuade me to stay. Everytime the issue was brought up, he'd always tell me he didn't want me to go, but he'd never say why. Then finally one night, after we'd spent the entire night arguing over something stupid (he'd gotten jealous over me talking to someone haha) he finally told me. I can't forget that conversation.

After arguing over and over, he finally told me that he loved being with me and he didn't realize how much he cared about me until he started seeing me get hurt. So then he said, "I don't want you to go to State so please don't go". I asked him why and he said, "I'd be really tore up if you did". I laughed and asked him why and he said because "nothing would be the same without you". I told him that if I went to State I'd be home on the weekends and I'd come home every now and then. He quickly reminded me that he wasn't always off on the weekends and I told him that was my point. As long as I was home, we'd always be making plans to hang out and that wasn't going to happen as long as he had a girlfriend. He told me he would drop the issue but he made sure I knew that I was making a mistake and he knew it deep down in his "gut".

Over the few weeks after that conversation, I really struggled with what to do. But after much prayer and consideration, I decided that running away from my problem wasn't going to solve anything. I decided to wait everything out. And I guess Kevin was right... I probably would have made a mistake if I'd left and transfered to State. Looking back I'm so thankful I stayed. If I'd have went, I doubt Kevin and I would be where we are today. Though who knows, he says that if I'd have transfered, he'd still have came to Raleigh and saw me when he was off so maybe things would have turned out the same. But either way, I'm thankful I didn't chance it :P