When I found out I was pregnant with Harper all of my friends could not have been more excited about the newest addition to our little family. Throughout my pregnancy, my friends were some of my biggest supporters. While Kevin worked nights, they took turns doing dinner with me to make sure me and baby Holt were fed; they registered for baby items with me; helped me decorate Harper's nursery; went with me to buy maternity clothes; and constantly sent me texts letting me know they loved, supported, and prayed for us daily. So when Harper arrived, I expected that same support to continue and our friendships to remain the same.
And for a while they did. For the first part of Harper's life, my friends called, text, and stopped by often. They brought us dinner. Offered to watch Harper for a few hours so we could nap. And some even offered to keep Harper for an hour or two just so Kevin and I could have a dinner alone every now and then. Things were going great. And then a few months went by and things shifted. Maybe it was the fact that the newness of a tiny baby had worn off or that my friends thought I was too busy for them after returning back to work, but many of my friends stopped calling, stopped texting, and stopped coming over. And you know what? It hurt. I always thought the hardest part of becoming a mom was going to be having to learn to adjust to the demands of a baby while working a job, keeping house, and being a wife all with practically no sleep. But for me that wasn't it. Call me selfish, but for me, the hardest part about becoming a mom has been watching the girls I thought would be my best friends for a lifetime, replace me with friends that don't have kids.
I'd like to say it's gotten easier with time but if I did, I'd be lying. Just this weekend I logged into one of my social media accounts and saw one of my friends post pictures with another friend. I'm almost embarrassed to say it, but I cried and for the briefest moment, I considered just deleting my social media accounts so I didn't have to see anymore because it cuts my heart like a knife. It hurts to watch yourself be replaced and know there isn't anything you can do about it. It hurts to constantly try to stay in touch only to be told by your closest friends that they're busy and don't know when they're going to be free; yet they're always hanging out with other people. But despite how much it hurts, the thing is, I get it and I don't blame them. I get that we aren't in the same place in our lives anymore. I get that they are single or married with no kids, so they surround themselves with the same sorts of people. And I hope and pray that one day that will change. Maybe when they have kids, they'll come back around and our kids will have playdates while we laugh at how things used to be.
But if not, that's ok because I also remind myself that not all of my friends have replaced me. I still have a couple of my best gals that I can count on to always be there. There's still that friend who I talk to every single day. The one that will traipse all around Greensboro or Danville with me every single weekend on my many shopping adventures. The friend who comes and rescues me when I get in over my head and chases Harper around while I tidy up and cook dinner. The friend that my daughter calls B and gets giddy about every time she comes over. And then there's that friend who will drive three hours from Wilmington just so we can have a girls day. The one who will send me random texts to let me know she loves and misses not just me but Harper as well. And the friend that ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS stops by whenever she is in town... even if it's just for five minutes. For those friends, I am grateful and don't know how I could navigate marriage and motherhood without them.
So what about you? What was the hardest part of motherhood? Did your friends seem to replace you when you became a mom?