Triplets Rock!

Just had to share this photo of my boys!
(For those of you who can't tell them apart, thats Sullivan, Hudson, & Jackson)

How Are the Wedding Plans Coming Along?

So it seems that once you get engaged, the only questions you get asked are questions that are related to your wedding. Almost everytime I run into someone I know, they ask me "how are the wedding plans coming along?". I just love the look on their faces when I say, "they are done!". It always comes as a shock but if they knew that Kevin and I have been planning on getting married since December of 2009 they'd understand.

Before Kevin ever bought my engagement ring, we began planning our wedding. At the beginning of the year, we chose our wedding date. Once that was chosen, I set out on making all of the arrangements. Growing up with a wedding planner/coordinator in my family, I've been planning my wedding over and over in my head since I was a little girl. So when the time finally came to plan it for real, it was rather easy because I knew just what I wanted. So I began to make those dreams become a reality.

My goal was that by the time summer was over and school started back I would have our wedding completely planned. I'd have to say I'm pretty proud of myself because I did a pretty good job of meeting that goal. We have our reception site, caterer, baker, dj, and photographer booked. We've purchased the invitations. I'm making the save-the-dates over Christmas break. We already have the wedding programs typed up, they just need to be printed. I have picked out my dress and my bridesmaid dresses. I've set up my hair appointment and we've got our music picked out not only for the wedding but for our first dance as well! The only thing we have left to do is meet with the florist, register for stuff, and get the boys fitted for tuxes!

All in all, this wedding planning stuff was a breeze! I am constantly asking friends of mine who are married if I should be stressed out but they all say if I've got all this stuff done by now, I'm doing great!

So I guess we'll see if I remain calm and stress-free the closer it gets to the wedding! Just a little less than 7 months to go! Yippee!!!!

I Wish You'd Stay

One of my favorite Brad Paisley songs is "I Wish You'd Stay". For those of you who don't know the song, its about a guy and a girl and the girl is moving away. He tells her that he wishes her the best, nothing less than everything she has ever dreamed of and he hopes that she finds love along the way but most of all, he wishes she'd stay. When I hear this song, it takes me back to the summer of 2009. As I mentioned in a previous post, last summer was an eventful summer to say the least. It was full of drama between Kevin's girlfriend and myself. However, despite all of that, it was one of the best summers of my life.

After spending all of last summer going back and forth with Kevin's girlfriend as well as Kevin at times, I made a big decision. I decided to transfer from UNCG to NC State. Throughout the summer I had struggled with trying to do the right thing. Being in Reidsville with Kevin as well as our group of friends, it was impossible to not spend time and talk to him. But at the same time, I knew Kevin and I being friends created problems with him and his girlfriend. So the only solution was for me to take myself out of the picture. The only way I could do that was to step back and transfer to another college. I had figured out that trying to not be friends with Kevin and being in the same vicinities as him just did not work.

Before breaking the news to Kevin, I told our group of friends about my intentions to transfer colleges. I was hoping telling them would make it easier to tell Kevin but it didn't. When I told them, they all did their best to talk me out of it. They told me that they all felt Kevin and I were supposed to be together and if I left, I would be making a mistake. And they all agreed that whether or not I wasn't around, Kevin wouldn't stop talking to me or try to come see me. I told them thats why I had to go. Everyone felt like Kevin and I were supposed to be together but things were never going to change. So when I finally told Kevin I was leaving and he asked why, thats exactly what I told him.

The few weeks after I'd made my decision to transfer schools, Kevin did his best to persuade me to stay. Everytime the issue was brought up, he'd always tell me he didn't want me to go, but he'd never say why. Then finally one night, after we'd spent the entire night arguing over something stupid (he'd gotten jealous over me talking to someone haha) he finally told me. I can't forget that conversation.

After arguing over and over, he finally told me that he loved being with me and he didn't realize how much he cared about me until he started seeing me get hurt. So then he said, "I don't want you to go to State so please don't go". I asked him why and he said, "I'd be really tore up if you did". I laughed and asked him why and he said because "nothing would be the same without you". I told him that if I went to State I'd be home on the weekends and I'd come home every now and then. He quickly reminded me that he wasn't always off on the weekends and I told him that was my point. As long as I was home, we'd always be making plans to hang out and that wasn't going to happen as long as he had a girlfriend. He told me he would drop the issue but he made sure I knew that I was making a mistake and he knew it deep down in his "gut".

Over the few weeks after that conversation, I really struggled with what to do. But after much prayer and consideration, I decided that running away from my problem wasn't going to solve anything. I decided to wait everything out. And I guess Kevin was right... I probably would have made a mistake if I'd left and transfered to State. Looking back I'm so thankful I stayed. If I'd have went, I doubt Kevin and I would be where we are today. Though who knows, he says that if I'd have transfered, he'd still have came to Raleigh and saw me when he was off so maybe things would have turned out the same. But either way, I'm thankful I didn't chance it :P

Forgiveness

Several Sundays ago, I sat in a church service that no words can describe. The service was held at Kevin's church and of course, his uncle was the one preaching it. For the past few months, Keith has been doing sermons on the Lord's Prayer. That particular week, he was preaching on the phrase, 'forgive our debtors'. Keith spoke about how God instructs us to forgive those we have grievances with. He talked about the servant who owed the king what would now be considered millions of dollars today and rather than throwing the man in jail as the king should have, he forgave him of his debt and allowed him to be free. However, only minutes after his pardon, that same servant passed a man in the streets who owed him money and he grabbed him by the neck and required him to pay his full payment on the spot. This man did not owe him an atrocious amount, he owed him about 20 dollars. When one of the king's men saw what was happening, he told the king. The king then threw the servant in jail and the Bible says he was "tortured" until he could pay his debt back in full all because he could not forgive the man who owed him money just as he had been forgiven. This parable was told as an example for Christians. God made it pretty clear to us Christians that we have been forgiven over and over for the things we have done against God. Therefore, as Christians, it is our job to forgive those who have done wrong things against us.

As Keith opened up his sermon, he asked the congregation some questions. To be honest, I can't remember all of the questions but I can remember two of them. He asked if any of us had someone in our lives that did something we just couldn't forget? Was there anyone in our lives that we no longer talked to because of something that happened? Immediately, I thought, 'nope, there sure is not'. I thought back over my past and everyone I've had problems with I've forgiven. But as he continued to preach, there was one person that kept coming to mind.

As this person continuously popped into my mind, I couldn't help but argue with God. I didn't have any problems with this girl anymore. We'd spent several months arguing back and forth with each other and saying some things that looking back, I'm not very proud of from a Christian stand point. I'd told her I was sorry and I'd moved on passed it. So I couldn't figure out what God was trying to tell me. And then as the service's end was near, God spoke as clearly as I've ever heard him. He said, 'yes, but you've never forgiven her for not accepting your apology'. And then I couldn't help but think he was right. I'd told this girl I was sorry and I hoped we could become friends at some point and she'd never said anything back.

As everyone knows, I am a big people-pleaser. I will do just about anything for someone so that they will not have hard feelings towards me. It upsets me when there is something wrong between me and someone else. So naturally, when someone has a problem with me and I address that problem, I want to know everything is okay. I guess you could say, I need closure. Yet with this girl, I never got that. So that part of me that needs that ending, couldn't let go of the fact that she wouldn't give it to me. Therefore, I couldn't fully forgive her.

As people came to the altar after Keith's sermon, I sat on that front row and prayed that God would help me let go. I prayed that he would take the bitterness I had been harboring for the situation and turn it into something good. I prayed that whether or not that person ever forgives me, I will no longer have hard feelings with her. And you know, its absolutely amazing how fast God works. As soon as I prayed, a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders that I never knew I had been carrying.

A quote was given during the service and it says, "forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future". I absolutely loved that quote because of the truth of it. I'll never be able to go back and change the things that happened and to be honest, I'm not sure that I want to. Those decisions got me in the place I am today and I feel that this is where I'm supposed to be. But at the same time, I do regret them. I hope that by forgiving this person as well as myself, the future will hold something so much better than my past.

Engagement Pictures!

When I look back over the good times Kevin and I have had, many of my favorite memories occurred at a softball field. As most of you know, Kevin plays church and recreational league softball. In fact, the first time Kevin and I met face-to-face was at Jaycee Park. Throughout our friendship and relationship, we have spent most of our time together at some ball field or another. Most people would think, 'wow, how lame!', but I absolutely love it! I love watching Kevin play ball because I love knowing he is happy doing it and it shows!

Now don't get me wrong, in the summer when its a 100+ degrees, I don't spend all day watching him, but I do make sure I make it to all the games after lunchtime! And I'll be honest, towards the end of the season this year, I held my breath at every game because Kevin suddenly became accident prone. In fact, one accident required him to spend the night in the Emergency Room getting staples in his knee! I'll never forget that night. He didn't even realize he'd cut his whole knee open. He thought he had just scraped it and what do you know, when I was trying to clean it out, I looked down and could see his bone! It was GROSSSSSSS! And he's just recovered this week from jamming his wrist in a tournament he played in over a month ago! So I guess I could say, I was pretty happy he decided to only play on one softball team this year rather than 2 as he normally does and he only played weekend ball about once every 4-6 weeks! If he'd have played like he normailly did, Lord knows what kind of condition he'd be in today :P lol

But anyways, with all that said, when we got engaged, I knew that I wanted our engagement photos to be taken at the very place we met... Jaycee Park. So this past Saturday we took them there! However, because we both absolutely love fall and we love the leaves changing, we also chose to have our photos taken at the Chinqua Penn Trail. Unfortunately, the leaves hadn't changed as much as we'd hoped but the pictures still turned out pretty great thanks to our amazing photographer who just so happens to be my cousin. I am so grateful she came in from Jacksonville just so she could take our pictures! She is absolutely amazing!

Here's a few of our pictures. I have more on our facebook pages so if we're one of your friends on there, check them out!

A Future Politician?

For everyone who knows me, you all know that I'm a very opinionated person. Usually at least once a day, I give my opinion about something... whether wanted or not! But hey! Thats just how God made me. If you have a problem, take it up with Him (:

Because I'm the way I am, growing up, people have always told me I should go into politics. Whats funny is, that growing up, one of my lifelong goals was to become a Senator. I've always had a passion for people and I've always wanted to see things done fairly. So often, I see our politicians make changes that benefit the upper class when in reality, the upper class don't contribute to alot of the American population. I want to see things done that will benefit us! And the only way I know how to do that right now is to advocate for it but a person as little as me can't do that and be heard. So the only thing I know to do is to run for office!

However, as I've grown older, I've began to pay more attention to politics and I realize how corrupt many politicians are today. So, at some point, I decided that I did not want to run for an office. I don't want people to associate me with that bad reputation. But as I was sitting at Alison & Waldo's wedding last night, I was sitting with a man I've known for many years now, sharing my opinions on some issue, and he expressed to me that I really should run for an office one day. He told me he had always thought I'd make a great politician. Then I was shocked to see all of the people at our table agree with him.

I'll be honest, the thought really appeals to me. I have so many ideas that I think would benefit our economy and society. I know they are just my opinions but often when I express them, there are many people that strongly agree with me. So maybe one day, I can actually get these ideas out in the open and make a difference. I guess only time will tell....who knows, maybe one day I'll be Mrs. Sara Holt, one of your North Carolina Senators!

Growing Like Weeds!

So there are 3 little boys that have me wrapped around their fingers and thats the triplets... Hudson, Sullivan, and Jackson Blake. They are the cutest little cousins ever! As I was flipping through some pics of them the other day I realize how in just a short year and a half they have grown so much!

I believe they were 2 months old in this photo... see how tiny they were! but then again they were born over 3 months early! (l to r: jackson, hudson, sullivan)


right after coming home! (from l to r: Sullivan, Jackson, Hudson)


& of course, they are wolfpack fans! (from l to r: Sullivan, Jackson, Hudson & that's Stephanie holding them!)


their fall picture last year! (from l to r: Hudson, Sullivan, Jackson)


christmas! (from l to r: Hudson, Sullivan, Jackson)


their 1st bday! (from l to r: Jackson, Hudson, Sullivan)


this summer! (Sullivan, Jackson, Hudson)