My Favorite Thing About Being Married

I love this quote because it is SO true. Before the hubs and I got married, the thing I looked forward to the most about us being married was that we would finally get to fall asleep together each night. We wouldn't have to part ways and say our goodbyes at the end of the night. And now that I am married, I have to say, it's still the thing I love most about marriage.

I love laying in bed each night holding hands and saying prayers with my husband. I love when my hubby comes to bed later than I do and I wake up to him wrapping his arms around me and locking his legs around mine... like he's afraid I'll get up and leave him! I love waking up in the morning to see my sweet hubby's face staring at me or to see him in that peaceful sleep with his hair sticking up every which way... a look he can pull off very well if I do say so myself ;) I just love it all and I look forward to coming home each day from work knowing that I get to crawl in bed with my hubby at the end of the night. 

What's your favorite thing about being married?

AMAZING.

My brother posted these videos to facebook earlier this week and they are so amazing that I have to share. I listened to them multiple times and each time, chill bumps appear on my arms and they cause the hair to stand up on my neck. They are incredible and inspiring. The talent that God bestows upon children is beyond imaginable. Without a doubt, my Heavenly Father is alive and living today!

Top Five Tuesday: Christmas Songs

After seeing Just Peachy's blog post last Tuesday, I decided to join in on the Top Five Tuesday blog posts. Hopefully I can keep this up but we'll see in the coming weeks! 

With Christmas being five (FIVE? Seriously... where did the year go?!) days away, I figured I'd do my top five favorite Christmas songs as well!

Listen and enjoy!

1. Camouflage and Christmas Lights by Rodney Carrington

2. Christmas Blessing by Newsong and Rachael Lamba

3. My Grown Up Christmas List by Kelly Clarkson

4, Oh Holy Night by Bekah Shae

5. Silent Night by The Temptations (NO one does it better!)

Riding with Private Malone

A few years ago, Kevin introduced me to the song "Riding with Private Malone" by David Ball. Of course, I immediately fell in love with it considering it was about a 66 Corvette! But after doing research and finding out that lyrics of the song describe a true story, I am not only in love with the song, I am obsessed with it! The thought that the story is real gives me chills! Read the lyrics and check out the song!

I was just out of the service thumbing through the classifieds
When an ad that said:"Old Chevy" somehow caught my eye
The lady didn't know the year,or even if it ran
But I had that thousand dollars in my hand

It was way back in the corner of this old ramshackle barn
Thirty years of dust and dirt on that green army tarp
When I pulled the cover off,it took away my breath
What she called a Chevy was a sixty six Corvette

I felt a little guilty as I counted out the bills
But what a thrill I got when I sat behind the wheel
I opened up the glove box and that's when I found the note
The date was nineteen-sixty six and this is what it wrote:

He said,"My name is Private Andrew Malone"
"If you're reading this,then I didn't make it home"
"But for every dream that shattered,another one comes true"
"This car was once a dream of mine,now it belongs to you"
"And though you may take her and make her your own"
"You'll always be riding with Private Malone"

Well it didn't take me long at all,I had her running good
I love to hear those horses thunder underneath her hood
I had her shining like a diamond and I'd put the rag top down
All the pretty girls would stop and stare as I drove her through town

The buttons on the radio didn't seem to work quite right
But it picked up that oldie show,especially late at night
I'd get the feeling sometimes,if I turned real quick I'd see
A soldier riding shotgun in the seat right next to me

It was a young man named Private Andrew Malone
Who fought for his country and never made it home
But for every dream that's shattered,another one comes true
This car was once a dream of his,back when it was new
He told me to take her and make her my own
And I was proud to be riding with Private Malone

One night it was raining hard,I took the curve too fast
I still dont remember much about that fiery crash
Someone said they thought they saw a soldier pull me out
They didn't get his name, but I know without a doubt

It was a young man named Private Andrew Malone
Who fought for his country and never made it home
But for every dream that's shattered,another one comes true
This car was once a dream of his,back when it was new
I know I wouldn't be here if he hadn't tagged along
That night I was riding with Private Malone
Oh,thank God,I was riding with Private Malone

Wonderful, Merciful Saviour

In yesterday's Morning Worship Service, the Praise Team lead the church in worship with the song "Wonderful, Merciful Saviour" by Selah. I began singing the song but after singing the first verse, the words would no longer come out of my mouth. I stood there on that front row of my little church and listened as all of the members of our congregation sang to our Heavenly Father. As I heard the words they uttered, the truth and reality of those few simple words washed over me. The gratitude I felt at that moment was none that I have ever experienced. Tears came to my eyes as I realized the amount of compassion and love my Heavenly Father has shown me over the years.

I am so thankful for all that He is to me. He is not just my Heavenly Father. He is my wonderful, merciful Saviour; my precious Redeemer and friend; my counselor, comforter, and keeper. He is the one individual in this entire being that knows me inside and out. He is the one person above all else who has every reason to turn His back on me; but He is the one individual who is always there offering grace and mercy for the wrongs I have done. He is the one who gives me hope, strength, and guidance when I fall on my knees and say "God, I can't do this" or "I don't know where to begin". I am so thankful that He is who He is. He is forever and always the one I will praise and adore and I am so thankful to be able to say, I will forever and always be His.

A Song I Once Loved is Now A Reminder of Who I Once Was

As I have said time and time before, I LIVE through music lyrics. I constantly search for lyrics and quotes that sum up the story of my life. So when I stumbled upon The Band Perry's "Walk Me Down the Middle" quite a while ago, I could not have been happier! The lyrics to the song fit mine and Kevin's relationship to the perfect T! Here's the lyrics for you to read and then let me explain!

I was meant to be by your side
And I have waited here a long time
For you to turn around and notice me
But now you're here holding hands with me

Walk me down the middle of the county fair
Walk me down the middle like you don't care
Walk me by the ferris wheel
And make sure that she sees
Let the whole world know you belong to me

I heard about your bitter end
About how she stole your heart and put it back again
Well I may not be the prettiest girl around
But I sure am a sight for sore, sore eyes
Walk me down the middle of Main Street
Walk me down where the whole town will be
I don't need no parade
But make sure that she sees
Let the whole word know you belong to me

I'd walk through fire for you
Walk through barbed wire for you
I'd walk for miles, it's true
Just to be with you

If you walk me down the middle of my momma's church
Walk me down that aisle in your finest shirt
Let the whole world know you will
Walk me down the middle of the county fair
Walk me down the middle like you don't care
Walk me by the ferris wheel
And make sure they see
Let the whole world know you belong to me
You belong to me

Most of you know how Kevin and I got together but for those of you who don't, let me fill you in on a few of the events. Kevin and I met each other at Jaycee Park in August of 2007. For a little over a year, he and I would randomly message each other on facebook or AIM to see how things were going on in each other's lives. We never exchanged numbers or hung out until September of 2008. Kevin had randomly messaged me one morning in September telling me he'd seen my boyfriend at the ballpark the night before with his "other girlfriend". Little did he know that we'd broken up that very night after a friend of mine informed me my ex was at the ballpark all over another girl. When I told Kevin about it he was shocked because he was just joking. I told him I couldn't tell him the story because I had to go to class so I had to get off the computer but he could text me and I'd fill him in on the details so I gave him my number. A short while later he messaged me. In the process of me texting him the details, he fell asleep on me! That afternoon when he woke up he sent me a text apologizing. He then asked what I was doing. I told him I was going to get some lunch. Just being courteous I said "I'd say you could come too but I doubt your girlfriend would like that very much". Needless to say I was shocked when he said "Nah its straight, when ya going?". I can remember my eyes getting big and I was thinking crap, I wasn't serious! But I had already dug myself in a hole so we ended up meeting at Arby's and having lunch together. Little did I know that that lunch would be the beginning of something.

Over the next six weeks we would just randomly text each other like we'd done before with our AIM conversations, until one Friday night in October when Kevin sent me a message asking me to hang out with him. I was like "are you crazy?! you have a girlfriend!". Then he informed me that they had broken up earlier that week. I could tell he was pretty down through our conversation and I remembered how he'd helped me get through my break up so I agreed to meet up with him sometime but it wouldn't be that night. Over the next few months Kevin and I would randomly hang out. Sometimes I'd go to his ball games, or he'd swing by my apartment and hang out with me and my roommate, or sometimes we'd go grab a bite to eat. This went on for several months. Never once did he mention that he and his girlfriend had gotten back together! I later found out in February!

I was not exactly ecstatic when I found out this "minor" detail. But by that point it was hard to stop hanging out with Kevin because I had become part of his group of friends. His friends had become some of my best friends. So I figured Kevin's girlfriend knew I hung out in the group and I figured since Kevin and I were just friends it would be ok. WRONG! When summer got around, all hell (pardon my language but its truly what it was) broke loose. She and I went round and round! She wanted me to stop hanging out with Kevin and I refused because that meant I couldnt hang out with my group of friends since he was always with the group too. Every day she and I would be on facebook going back and forth at each other. I understood her perspective on the situation but at the same time, I wanted her to understand mine and I wasn't willing to budge.

The situation escalated so much that at one point I finally told Kevin he and I would NOT be friends anymore and I even put in to transfer to NC State to get away from all of the drama. But after the group encouraged me not to run away from my problems, I changed my mind and stuck it out at UNCG. But thankfully, the week school was to begin, Kevin and his girlfriend chose to take a break... or at least thats what I was told. Later I found out it wasn't quite like that and in the end, things ended pretty bitterly between the two of them. But at the time, I didn't really care. I was just thankful that Kevin and I could continue being friends without any problems.

Then a couple of months later, after one of their many ball games, we were all at Turks eating when Kevin's cousin mentioned she was going to the Dixie Classic fair the next day. I had forgotten all about the fair and I mentioned that I was going to have to get a group of my friends together and go that weekend. Then Kevin looked at me and said "we can go tomorrow if you want to". I was like "huh?". I was shocked. Usually we never did anything other than grab a bite to eat. He said "yeah, we can get Brooke & Bryan to go too". So he asked and then it was planned. The next day we were all going to the Dixie Classic Fair.

The next day rolled around and I was pretty excited! I looooved the fair! I put on my facebook that I was going that evening after I got out of class. I was later shocked when Kevin sent me a text and told me to not put that on my status because he didn't want to run into his ex (as she went to Wake Forest which was right up the road). I'd have never told him this but I was mad. Why would he care if he saw her? Secretly I hoped we would see her and she'd see us together. We weren't dating but I think I hoped she would think we were. In a way, I wanted her to see that hey, I won! But in the end, I didn't win with Kevin and I took my status down. I could understand where he was coming from.

When we got to the fair, he bought his tickets and I bought mine. So I didn't think of our trip to the fair as a date. But when we got ready to board one of the rides, I was shocked when Kevin reached down to hold my hand. But then I was kind of sad when he dropped my hand once we got on the ride. I remember thinking, "why does that bother me? I wasn't expecting that". But then to my surprise when we were finished with the ride, he reached for my hand again and then we walked right down the middle of the fair straight to the ferris wheel... all the while he held my hand.

So as I hear the lyrics to this song, they describe some of the most monumental events in our relationship. It talks about his and his girlfriend's bitter break up, how I had to fight for him (but I only fought to be his friend... nothing more!), how he held my hand at the fair for the first time, and then just in this last month, he walked me right down the middle of my Mama's church and showed the world that he belonged with me.

I once loved this song and I even included it on the cd we gave out as wedding favors but now as I listen to the words, I am no longer filled with joy. I am now filled with shame. I regret the words I spat at Kevin's ex-girlfriend as we'd go round and round. I regret how I treated her. I regret not caring about how she would feel if she had saw us together and thought we were together. I regret how I acted so immature thinking it was all a game that one could win. I regret all of those shameful thoughts. So now this song that once reminded me of mine and Kevin's relationship, now reminds me of the person I once was and hope I will NEVER be again.

One Day You Will

I came across this song today and I wanted to share it with all of my readers. The song is entitled "One Day You Will" and it is sung by Lady Antebellum. The song is a perfect reminder that just when you want to give up, just remember that even though it seems that things will never get better, they will in time. I've included the lyrics as well as the youtube video. I hope you enjoy it and appreciate it as much as I did!

One Day You Will lyrics

You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks
Like no one would even notice
If you left this town and never came back
You walk outside and all you see is rain
You look inside and all you feel is pain
And you can't see it now

[Chorus]
But down the road the sun is shining
In every cloud there's a silver lining
Just keep holding on (just keep holding on)
And every heartache makes you stronger
But it won't be much longer
You'll find love, you'll find peace
And the you you're meant to be
I know right now that's not the way you feel
But one day you will

You wake up every morning and ask yourself
What am I doing here anyway
With the weight of all those disappointments
Whispering in your ear
You're just barely hanging by a thread
You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath
And you don't know it yet

[Repeat Chorus]

Find the strength to rise above
You will
Find just what you're made of, you're made of

[Repeat Chorus]

One day you will
Oh one day you will

I Wish You'd Stay

One of my favorite Brad Paisley songs is "I Wish You'd Stay". For those of you who don't know the song, its about a guy and a girl and the girl is moving away. He tells her that he wishes her the best, nothing less than everything she has ever dreamed of and he hopes that she finds love along the way but most of all, he wishes she'd stay. When I hear this song, it takes me back to the summer of 2009. As I mentioned in a previous post, last summer was an eventful summer to say the least. It was full of drama between Kevin's girlfriend and myself. However, despite all of that, it was one of the best summers of my life.

After spending all of last summer going back and forth with Kevin's girlfriend as well as Kevin at times, I made a big decision. I decided to transfer from UNCG to NC State. Throughout the summer I had struggled with trying to do the right thing. Being in Reidsville with Kevin as well as our group of friends, it was impossible to not spend time and talk to him. But at the same time, I knew Kevin and I being friends created problems with him and his girlfriend. So the only solution was for me to take myself out of the picture. The only way I could do that was to step back and transfer to another college. I had figured out that trying to not be friends with Kevin and being in the same vicinities as him just did not work.

Before breaking the news to Kevin, I told our group of friends about my intentions to transfer colleges. I was hoping telling them would make it easier to tell Kevin but it didn't. When I told them, they all did their best to talk me out of it. They told me that they all felt Kevin and I were supposed to be together and if I left, I would be making a mistake. And they all agreed that whether or not I wasn't around, Kevin wouldn't stop talking to me or try to come see me. I told them thats why I had to go. Everyone felt like Kevin and I were supposed to be together but things were never going to change. So when I finally told Kevin I was leaving and he asked why, thats exactly what I told him.

The few weeks after I'd made my decision to transfer schools, Kevin did his best to persuade me to stay. Everytime the issue was brought up, he'd always tell me he didn't want me to go, but he'd never say why. Then finally one night, after we'd spent the entire night arguing over something stupid (he'd gotten jealous over me talking to someone haha) he finally told me. I can't forget that conversation.

After arguing over and over, he finally told me that he loved being with me and he didn't realize how much he cared about me until he started seeing me get hurt. So then he said, "I don't want you to go to State so please don't go". I asked him why and he said, "I'd be really tore up if you did". I laughed and asked him why and he said because "nothing would be the same without you". I told him that if I went to State I'd be home on the weekends and I'd come home every now and then. He quickly reminded me that he wasn't always off on the weekends and I told him that was my point. As long as I was home, we'd always be making plans to hang out and that wasn't going to happen as long as he had a girlfriend. He told me he would drop the issue but he made sure I knew that I was making a mistake and he knew it deep down in his "gut".

Over the few weeks after that conversation, I really struggled with what to do. But after much prayer and consideration, I decided that running away from my problem wasn't going to solve anything. I decided to wait everything out. And I guess Kevin was right... I probably would have made a mistake if I'd left and transfered to State. Looking back I'm so thankful I stayed. If I'd have went, I doubt Kevin and I would be where we are today. Though who knows, he says that if I'd have transfered, he'd still have came to Raleigh and saw me when he was off so maybe things would have turned out the same. But either way, I'm thankful I didn't chance it :P

Love Lets Us See Normal Things in an Extraordinary Way

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to sit and read quotes and song lyrics. I could sit and read them comfortably for hour upon hours. I have often wondered where my fascination comes from and I have come to the conclusion that my interest in quotes and song lyrics are often from my inability to find the words to express my feelings. Its always rewarding to find that quote or lyric that expresses exactly how you feel without you having to come up with the words yourself.

Well, a few weeks ago I was rather bored and so I began searching quotes on the internet. As I flipped from page to page, I came to a quote that said "love lets us see normal things in an extraordinary way". Apparently this quote really spoke to me because I could not seem to get it out of my head. Yet, I really couldn't figure out why it was in my head in the first place. Usually, I read a quote and I like it and remember it for a few days but then I find a new one and that one replaces the old. Yet, this one has stayed there over the course of a few weeks no matter how many quotes I have came across that I liked.

As I contemplated this quote, I began to discover the truth in it. As I look back over Kevin and my relationship, I realize that those simple, little, mundane things in our relationship mean so much to me. Now don't get me wrong, I love the big things too but its those ordinary, every day moments that give me that feeling of joy and happiness in my heart.

I love it when Kevin and I are at church and when the preacher begins to pray, he reaches for my hand. I love that when we watch a movie and I lay down with my head in his lap, he'll play with my hair and will kiss the top of my head every little bit. I love it when he drives down the road or we're sitting side-by-side at a restaurant and he puts his hand on my knee. I love when we're at the ball field, he'll sit behind me so that I can lean back on his knees. I love when we go to a restaurant he always lets me sit in the seat that faces the door because I don't like having my back to it (I always like to see who comes in!). I love that when I go home every night he waits up for me to text him to let him know I made it home ok before he will go to sleep. I love how every day that we ride in a car together, we constantly look for Volkswagon Beetles to see who can punch each other first (haha!). I love how when we lay in his bed watching tv, if I'm not cuddling with him, he'll tell me to "get over here" while dragging me towards him at the same time. I love how when we go to eat, we try to catch the other eating without having said their blessing. I love that we ride down the road and see old, abandon houses falling in and we both say, "babe! there's our house!" or "babe, its a keeper!" at the same time!

Its these normal things (and so many more!)that love allows me to see in an extraordinary way!